Purpose. Purpose. Purpose.
You have to find your purpose.
There is a lot of content out there about finding one’s purpose, and there is a lot of pressure to do so.
Because if you don’t, you’re doing life wrong.
Many fall prey to the belief that their life is incomplete without it, so they chase it, believing their happiness and quality of life depend on capturing it.
When we believe this, our purpose behaves like a dog off leash; the more you chase it, the more it will run away.
Our purpose is a seed that lives within us. It’s not something to chase, nor can anyone hand us on a silver platter.
Most of the content I see online about finding purpose focuses on finding the seed. There is a lot of good content around this approach.
But this approach puts the cart before the horse.
Connecting with your purpose isn’t an overnight trip; it’s a journey of self-discovery and meaningful action.
And it’s because of this journey that I propose a different model.
It’s a model that is counterintuitive to everything you believe about purpose.
This is why it works.
Let go of finding your purpose; it’s not the goal. Living purposefully is the goal.
Here are 5 indirect ways to discover your purpose.
Journaling:
Purpose flows from a deep connection to one’s authentic self.
Journaling is one of the fastest, most practical, and most profound practices I know for connecting with oneself.
Journaling was one of three foundational practices I started in federal prison, and I have rarely missed a day since—it’s that valuable to me.
(The other two are meditation and expressing gratitude – I rarely miss these as well.)
Here’s what my journaling practice looks like:
- Black & White Composition Book (I started using them in prison and still do)
- Bic Pilot G2 Pen
- Write whatever comes up in my mind.
It can be that simple.
You don’t need a fancy journal or pen, you don’t need to watch any videos, you don’t need any prompts, you only need to sit down and do the practice.
Notice the keyword – practice. This isn’t work, don’t try to make it something.
In time, patterns will form.
What you dislike and what you like – follow the patterns and deepen your connection.
Craft a Personal Operating System:
A POS is your guide for how you want to live your life. It’s an operating manual that may make you uncomfortable in the short term, but long-term crafts the extraordinary.
You have to craft your own, but here’s what mine looks like:
Mantra: I’ve crafted a single sentence that encapsulates how I want to live every day.
Core Values: These are my North Star. I live with ease when I’m in alignment with my core values.
I have 7 of them.
Principles: These are seven simple sentences that guide how I want to show up for myself and in life.
Inner-Foundation: I constructed my inner-foundation on the antithesis of my imprisoning beliefs (“I’m not worthy becomes “I am worthy”). If all hell breaks loose, I know my foundation will be there.
Decision: I decide every day who I want to be and how I want to show up.
Live Intentionally:
Our brains are designed for efficiency because efficiency burns fewer calories.
In seeking efficiencies, our brain will fall into the autopilot trap – because it’s easy.
You will never discover your purpose if you’re living on autopilot. You have to become intentional.
The fastest path I’ve discovered to become intentional starts with awareness, followed by a question.
We take specific daily actions that are inevitable and part of life (e.g., showering and brushing our teeth).
Before I execute an action (as mundane as brushing my teeth),
“Why am I doing this?”
This simple question illuminates what you’re about to do, and even if the action is the same as one you’ve taken thousands of times before, you’re being intentional.
You’re not just going with the flow.
Bonus: Ask these two questions next:
1. Is there an alternative way to do what I’m about to do? (Brush with the opposite hand, stand somewhere else in the bathroom, brush your teeth in the shower, etc.)
2. Am I willing to experiment with one of the alternatives?
When you become intentional, life gets a whole lot clearer.
Follow Your Fear:
Our deepest fears contain the keys to our most extraordinary lives.
I’m not talking about situational fear, like burning buildings or a gun in the face fear.
I’m talking about the fear we feel when we contemplate stepping outside our status quo and lives of complacency.
Maybe we finally want to write our World War II novel, change careers, or explore our childhood dreams.
All of these are unknowns because we’ve never done them, and the unknown is terrifying.
But that fear is also one of the most substantial gifts we’ll ever be given.
We’ve been conditioned to view those fears as lighthouses, giant flashing lights protecting us from certain death.
But the reality is this: it is a giant flashing light, except it’s inviting us to follow it.
Our fears illuminate our path.
I was terrified of public speaking, but now it’s one of my primary sources of income—but it’s more than that—it’s what I’m meant to do.
Disconnect & Get Outside:
Modern living involves a lot of screen time.
Whether it be a laptop, tablet, phone, or television, even our cars now have giant screens on the dashboard.
How many people are on their phones while they’re “watching” TV?
When we live behind screens, we’re constantly consuming; some of it’s good, some of it bad, some of it’s inert – it’s just there.
We’re seeking stimulation and distraction so we don’t have to experience ourselves.
Disconnecting and getting outside, experiencing nature and its awe and wonder, connects us to ourselves.
When we connect to ourselves, we open ourselves to discovery.
***
You may have noticed that the five steps don’t directly involve discovering your purpose; that’s by design.
Doing what you’ve always done won’t produce different results; you might as well expect a cow to make apple juice.
Instead of chasing your purpose, these five simple (and enjoyable) steps open you up to live purposefully.
When we live purposefully, our lives develop meaning, our actions become more fulfilling, and we open ourselves up to discovering our purpose.
The best part?
It’s an enjoyable ride.
📣 If you’re ready to stand in your power, and unleash your potential the Midlife Mastery Program is for you. Schedule your free call here.
