Personal development has become toxic and annoying.

Personal Bests.

Challenges for everything.

“I did “X” for 30 days straight; here’s what happened.”

We can listen to podcasts at amplified speeds; there are more speed reading courses than you shake a stick at.  

Sidenote: Why are we shaking sticks at things?

“Gurus” flood the market with their secret “proven” formula that will change your life.

Personal development has transformed into the new money and materialism. So has spirituality.

I don’t recall seeing any monks on mountaintops bragging about how many days in a row they’ve meditated.

From what I see on social media, if more personal development is good, then more is even better. And then add a little more…

75 Hard is the new Rolex and status symbol, which can be positive or negative.

Personal development is one small, slippery step away from toxicity and self-punishment.

Our Intentions Matter

I’m all for developing oneself and expanding into our infinite potential, but what is the end goal?

Is it to be “better”? What does that even mean?

Seeking to improve ourselves for the sake of keeping up with The Joneses (a real family with a fantastic story) is an infinite path to nowhere other than feeling crappy about yourself when you realize enough isn’t enough.

But you’re stuck on the personal development treadmill chasing the horizon, foolishly believing you’ll catch it.

When personal development is done through the lens of inadequacy, “I need to better,” so people approve and accept me, it decimates our self-worth and self-image.

It’s saying to ourselves,

“Who you are right now isn’t good enough, meaning you’re not good enough. Unless you get “better,” you’ll never be good enough.”

Depending on our intention, its toxicity is the same as chasing money and materialism to be worthy, enough, and accepted.

An easy question to ask is:

Why am I doing this?

And does that reason feel like grasping or growing?

Love vs Inadequacy

The difference between a desire to improve because we love ourselves and a need to improve ourselves because we believe we’re not enough is astronomical.

When I was released from prison, I chased all the personal development and self-help I could because I felt broken and inadequate.

Chasing other’s solutions made me feel even more broken and inadequate because their “magic” formula didn’t work for me.

I started making genuine, enjoyable progress when I stepped off the treadmill, stopped chasing others’ formulas, and began creating my own.

Something dynamic shifted; it was no longer about feeling broken and inadequate – but instead, doing work that connected me to me and provided purpose, meaning, and fulfillment.

I shifted the lens from “I’m broken and need to be fixed” to “I love myself, and I want to see what I’m capable of – because of that love.”

Huge shift.

Seek to improve out of self-love, not fear.

Knowledge versus Wisdom

There’s a sea of information available at our fingertips, and with AI, the sea is growing wider – but not deeper.

There is a massive push towards acquisition in the personal development space – specifically, acquiring as much knowledge as possible.

And then, the “gurus” spew this regurgitated crap all over the internet.

Wisdom is knowledge applied to real-life scenarios and, more often than not, a result of falling flat on our faces – and getting back up.

I see so many people expounding “knowledge” but with no anecdotal evidence of their own experience to back it up.

Memorization of knowledge doesn’t mean you understand what you’re saying.

When we put knowledge into action, we grow.

When done with love, a desire to improve one’s life is natural and extremely healthy.

So, understanding why we’re doing what we’re doing is critically important.

Sometimes, not chasing improvement is the most significant way we will improve.

Because we’ve accepted who we are at this moment, and there’s nothing “better” than that.