We’re taught to live from one accomplishment to the next.

It’s part of our conditioning.

I love a good “To-Do” list, but it’s a reinforcement of a belief that limits our potential and reduces our sense of happiness and joy to intermittent bursts of dopamine.  

The belief is that accomplishment is the singular path to joy; essentially, for an endeavor to be worth our time, it must yield a result.

This is how I lived before prison. I was chasing outcomes, disliking the effort, and feeling disillusioned that fulfillment never followed.

I mean, I did all the right things; why is something missing?

And if you’ve checked all the boxes you believed would make you happy, but something’s still missing, I’m guessing it looks the same for you.

We’re conditioned to do “Y” (the work) to achieve “X” (the result), believing that only then we will feel “Z” (happiness/fulfillment).

So, we endure the process of “Y” because we believe when we accomplish “X,” we will experience “Z.”

It’s the epitome of superficial living and experiencing life from the:

Outside -> In.

I didn’t realize when I was living like this, I was relinquishing agency over my internal well-being to an external circumstance – over which I had very little control.

My reinvention after prison has taught me a different path; do I always follow it?

No, of course not. I’m human and fall flat on my face.

But I do my best.

And it all started with one question,

“How do I want to experience my life?”

Here’s what I’ve learned:

“X” doesn’t create “Z.”

When my “Y” is meaningful, “Z” reveals itself through the work.

“X” is a bonus.

So, my focus is on “Y,” the process.

For me, that’s the pursuit of mastery in my crafts, speaking and writing.

I love it when I receive applause and accolades after a talk.

I love it when Blank Canvas sells well, and James Altucher names it one of the most impactful hybrid books ever written.

But applause, accolades, book sales, and recognition fade, and what remains is the work, the process, the good old “Y.”

When our “Y” is the reward, we embrace a word that captures the essence of a meaningful existence:

Autotelic

An autotelic activity is one we do for its own sake.

The experience itself is the reward.

It’s doing the thing because we love the act of doing the thing.

When I focus on “Y” I embody how I want to live my life now:

From the Inside -> Out.

The more autotelic activities I introduce into my life, the more I seize agency over my emotional well-being.

If you’ve ever found yourself stuck chasing “X”—only to find “Z” still out of reach, perhaps it’s time to find a meaningful “Y.”