It sounds backward, but the more scary things I do, the safer I become.

I had this realization a few months ago.

It runs counter to everything I’ve thought about my life.

Chasing Safety Through Control

Before prison, I lived like so many high achievers do, chasing safety through control.

Control for me was being perfect, not speaking up, not asking for what I needed, and hiding in plain sight under the veil of smallness, to name a few.

All of which are foot soldiers of fear, particularly the fear of loss. I thought if I could tighten my control on everything, I’d finally feel safe.

Chasing safety shrunk my world and actually made me less safe.

When I consistently capitulate to fear, I shrink my world because everything becomes a threat; my perception, the lens through which I view the world, is one of limitations, not opportunity.

I reduce my options, diminish my freedom, and decimate my inner peace – the antithesis of safety.  

So what may feel like safety, isn’t.

Unpacking the Paradox

As I unpack the statement, “The more scary things I do, the safer I become,” I’m struck by the sheer number of dimensions those ten simple words contain.

I feel like there’s a gazillion different ways to unpack it.

But today, there’s one word that is speaking louder than the rest:

Capable

The Fear Beneath the Fear

I desire safety because I don’t believe I’m capable of handling the peril that may await me on the other side of a scary idea.

I don’t recall being a fortune teller, but apparently I am.

Because that’s what this is about: what MAY happen and my belief in my ability to handle it.

There’s a lot to unpack in that statement as well, but one of the beauties of “the more scary things I do, the safer I become” is within the words
“MAY” and capable.

I demonstrate capability on multiple levels when I do something that frightens me.

Taking the Leap

1. I overcame the initial fear, meaning “I am capable” of moving past fear’s physical and mental manifestations. I trusted myself to leap into the unknown, the unsafe.

Transformation

2. As I move through the scary task, I evolve. Maybe the version of myself who started the journey isn’t capable of handling what MAY happen, but that person stopped existing the moment he took the first step and evolved with every step.

He cultivates deep self-trust and capability.

Standing in Truth

3. The fact that I’m here typing these words demonstrates that no scary thing I’ve ever done has killed me. So even if whatever frightening thing I did realized all those terrible possibilities of what MAY happen, I’m capable of handling them and thriving despite them.

Capability Is a Muscle

Capability is a muscle, and “the more scary things I do, the safer I become” is the training protocol.

I’m 52 as of this writing, and for the past several years, peace and freedom have called me; they’re two of my core values.

With each passing year, I’m drawn to them more and more.

I was drawn to them before prison as well. But I believed the path to peace and freedom was paved with external achievements like money in the bank and the car in my driveway.

That’s not safety, peace, or freedom; it’s being handcuffed to a golden treadmill where the speed control moves in only one direction: faster.  

Creating Real Safety

If I genuinely want to be safe, to experience ever-evolving layers of peace and freedom, I must create them.

Safety isn’t the absence of fear; it’s the spacious container in which fear, power, capability, and expansion coexist.

Peace and freedom are created in the spacious container of what safety genuinely is.

The more scary things I do, the more aligned with my values I am.

That’s the paradox: the safest I’ve ever been wasn’t when I was in control.

It’s when I let go and trust my capacity to face what scares me most.

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📘 If this lands and you’re ready to go deeper…

Check out the book that started it all, “Blank Canvas: How I Reinvented My Life After Prison“.

James Altucher, best-selling author and host of The James Altucher Show, recently recognized Blank Canvas as one of the most impactful hybrid books ever written.

He placed it alongside some of the world’s most influential best-sellers and book recommendations he shares with his global audience.