This is what men get wrong all the time.

I know I did, so I don’t judge.

They think their identity comes from external sources.

They are their job title, their brokerage statement, their home, their cars, their net-worth.

When you source your identity from externals, you’re outsourcing your self-worth.

Your self-worth, how you feel about yourself internally, is up for negotiation and dependent on,

“What have you done for me lately?”

Life becomes all about more and the next rung on the “success” ladder, all because we feel the need to prove ourselves.

The more you rely on externals to prove yourself, the more you’re telling yourself that who you are isn’t worthy.

So many men, when they reach midlife, find themselves at a significant inflection point: they realize the way they’re living isn’t how they want to spend their second half.

They begin to feel a longing for more peace and freedom in their lives.

Here’s the second mistake they make (I made this too):

They believe they can buy peace and freedom by acquiring enough externals.

It’s the model they know, so they double down on it, unwittingly decimating their self-worth as they imprison themselves to externals.

When they have enough, then they can pursue the life they want, because then they’ll be worthy of it.

Following this model is akin to boiling water in the hopes of making ice cubes.

Here’s something that took me over a decade of reinventing my life after prison to learn, and what I share with audiences around the world.

Your worth is immutable.

Nothing you ever do can add to or subtract from your worth.

Worth is not something you earn.

Worth is something you return to.

Being worthy and enough aren’t things you earn through external accomplishments.

How do I know this?

Because I, and you, would never look at a newborn baby, 1 minute old, and say that the baby is unworthy and not enough.

We were all that baby.

Worth and enough are immutable; nothing external (both positively and negatively) can add to them or diminish them.

The only thing that ever changes is your access to them.

This is why reinvention is restoration. It’s not about building something new; it’s about returning to who you’ve always been.

And then creating from there.

When we embrace our worthiness as immutable, we understand the difference between chasing identity vs. creating identity.

If we desire peace and freedom in our second half, this is the goal:

Stop outsourcing identity to externals.

Peace and freedom aren’t outcomes you chase; they’re the natural side effects of finally coming home to yourself.

 
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📘 If this lands and you’re ready to go deeper…

Check out the book that started it all, “Blank Canvas: How I Reinvented My Life After Prison“.

James Altucher, best-selling author and host of The James Altucher Show, recently recognized Blank Canvas as one of the most impactful hybrid books ever written.

He placed it alongside some of the world’s most influential best-sellers and book recommendations he shares with his global audience.