It sounds backward, but the more scary things I do, the safer I become. I had this realization a few months ago. It runs counter to everything I’ve thought about my life. Chasing Safety Through Control Before prison, I lived like so many high achievers do, chasing safety through control. Control for me was being…

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Perfectionism. The need to be right. Shrinking so I’m not seen. Rehearsing future conversations in my head. For me (and I’m guessing for most), these are protective actions I take to control the situation and, even more so, the outcome. I’ve done all these to varying degrees throughout my life and still to this day.…

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